NEXT

Dave MacKenzie at Sovereign Grace has put together a video of Next footage (video of the band playing live plus some Next photos) set to the live version of “All I Have Is Christ.” Good stuff.

All I Have Is Christ from Sovereign Grace Ministries on Vimeo.

The Next Live album is now ready to go.

$5 for 13 songs. Get it here.

For more information about the bands on the album check out our interviews with them or check out their website.

Reilly – Interview / Website

ZELOS – Interview / Website

Na Band – Interview / Website

Next Live Drops Soon
We’ve received a few inquiries about when the Next Live album will be out and we have good news. The album will, God willing, launch this Wednesday (July 8). Thirteen songs for just five bucks (and yes, that’s one more than the 12 songs we promised earlier). We’ll link to it here or you can watch for it on Bob Kauflin’s blog.

Can’t Get Enough Carson?
One of the great things about summer is that at some point many of us find ourselves on vacation, usually with a book in our hands or earbuds in our ears. Wondering what to take on vacation instead of that airport paperback?

This year leading up to the conference Justin Taylor did brief introductions to each of the Next speakers and provided lists of resources from each speaker. If you’re looking for a book to throw into your beach bag or messages to stock up your iPod with check out the resources from each speaker that Justin organized:

+D.A. Carson Resources

+Kevin DeYoung Resources

+C.J. Mahaney

+Sinclair Ferguson

And if you’ve read or listened to anything further from one of the Next speakers and want to share it, we’d love to hear from you in the comments section.

Here’s what I’m reading lately: “Just Do Something” by Kevin DeYoung (Our singles ministry here in El Paso is studying the book over the summer. Great stuff.); “In Christ Alone” by Sinclair Ferguson (I began this before Next and I’m just now finishing it. I see Jesus more clearly each chapter I read.); “Worldliness” edited by C.J. Mahaney (I was especially challenged by Craig Cabaniss’ chapter on media). What about you?

Still enjoying the memories and fruit of Next?  Continue to pray for a deep and lasting devotion and discipleship to Jesus for you, your friends, and others who attended Next. And you can listen again to messages that especially impacted you by downloading them (for free) from the Resources page of the Next website.

And guess what?  We’ve already had several meetings reviewing Next 2009 and starting the planning for Next 2010. We have several speakers confirmed (don’t ask!) and all the key team leaders signed up to serve at Next 2010.

Please pray for the Next executive team: Josh Harris is the senior pastor of Covenant Life Church, Grant Layman is an executive pastor at the same church, and Paul Medler is the events director of all the conferences that Sovereign Grace hosts. They have busy lives, many other responsibilities, and they are very aware of their need for God and their dependence on him.

Pray for Next 2010.

Here’s one story from a Next attendee this year that really encouraged us.

Emily’s Story

I’ve now been to one New Attitude conference, and one Next conference (though they are technically the same conference) This year and last year were bound to be different from the start. Instead of Gavi’s and the Chinese buffet, this year we ate at the Pratt Street Alehouse and California Tortilla. Rather than the Galt House, we spent our few sleeping hours in the Hilton.

For several months before the conference I’d become so caught up in the whirlwind of insanity and stress that was the last lap of school, I’d become distant from God. It wasn’t that I was ignoring him entirely, I still prayed and had biblical fellowship with my friends. I still worshipped him, even. But it was like God was in a large room, and I was on the other side of that room, lurking in the corner. I could still see him, but not very clearly, and I could hear him a little, but not at all well. I hoped that Next would be the weekend that changed all this. I hoped to have an emotional encounter with God that would bring me immediately back to his side of the room. When asked by my family group leader what I wanted out of this conference, my answer was to draw nearer to God.

Josh Harris opened the conference with a sermon about the preeminence of Christ, and while it was an excellent message that affected me deeply, it did not come with the same kind of emotion I’d felt a year before. One of the things he said in his message was “If you want to feel deeply, you need to think deeply.” I agreed with this concept immediately. Of course I knew that. Feelings were never good enough for me, I had always wanted emotion to be based on truth. I wrote down the phrase in my notebook because I liked it and agreed, and moved on.

The next morning as D.A. Carson preached on Christ’s incarnation, I realized I was hearing a lot of biblical truth that was truly affecting me, but I still hadn’t had a real radical experience of God’s nearness. I started to worry about whether I would get this at all during the weekend. That night, during worship, Josh Harris encouraged us all to stop worrying about what others were thinking about us, and to freely and openly worship the living God. I found I was still unable to do this to my full extent, and I prayed that God would draw me closer to him. Almost immediately, my prayer was answered. I was hearing God clearly for the first time in months, and what he was telling me was that he wanted to bring me close to him even more than I wanted him to. I suddenly realized that I did not need to beg for access into his presence, that I already had it. I simply needed to come. This truth hit me and emotion finally came. As we sang In Christ Alone, I wondered at this amazing truth: “as he stands in victory, sin’s curse has lost it’s grip on me, for I am his, and he is mine, bought with the precious blood of Christ.” It felt to me as though Christ himself were standing in the auditorium with us, and, as Sinclair Ferguson would describe it 24 hours later, my heart felt strangely warm. I hoped it would continue this way for the rest of the conference, but again, God had other plans for me.

C.J. Mahaney’s message on Christ’s Death the emotion started to dwindle. I began to get anxious again, afraid that because I did not cry at every session, I would somehow forget all of the truth I was hearing when I got home. I felt like I was missing something, despite my head knowledge that every sermon held incredible truth about my savior, and with every message I was being shown some aspect of Christ that I’d never seen in that way before. At the end of an emotionally sleep-deprived night, I cried out to God with my fears.

Then I remembered what Josh Harris had said on the first night of the conference: “If you want to feel deeply, you need to think deeply.” Up until this point I’d brushed it aside as something I already knew, but now I realized I had not been living as though it were true. I now understood that my fear that I would not truly encounter God without some sort of emotional response every session was not only untrue, but a result of my unbelief. It became clear to me that it was not the “conference experience” that would bring me close to God, but an understanding of God himself. Every message I heard that weekend left me more and more in awe of who Jesus is, and every message left me more amazed at his great love for me. I realized that night that this was what it meant to draw near to God; not to have emotional experience three times a day for a weekend, but to learn more and more about him and to stand more and more in awe of him.

This year was different for me than last year. God’s love did not come to me forcefully with trumpets blaring as it had before, but it came to me no less, quietly and persistently, and as real as I’ve ever known it. I did not experience the same sort of emotional response I did last year, but I experienced the same truth and the same gospel, and in God’s mercy I learned that these things will always be greater than my feelings. I am so grateful that Jesus would continue to bring me closer to him, and I am constantly amazed that such an awesome God would want to bring me near. My prayers for this conference were answered in a way far greater than I ever expected, and I stand in awe of his goodness and glory. For I am his, and he is mine, bought with the precious blood of Christ.

Through Kevin Deyoung’s message, the Holy Spirit did a couple things in me: 1. Stirred my fear and awe of who Jesus really is. And, 2. Built my faith and desire for His Word.

Toward the end of Kevin DeYoung’s message, Kevin mentioned the possibility of becoming “inoculated to Christ.” We can have just enough of Christianity that Jesus seems less than He really is. And we can get used to that.  So often, because of my sinful heart, I can just get used to Christ. He becomes old hat.

But in Kevin’s message walking through Luke 8:26-39 he showed us the real Christ: the Creator, the demon-kicker-outer, the gracious healer and life-giver. As the message progressed, the Holy Spirit continued to show me more of how amazing Christ is, and how worthy He is of my fear, reverence and awe. And that that’s a key issue in my heart: I need to be constantly un-inoculated to Christ by seeing Him as He is.

God faithfully reminded me through Kevin’s message that the same God that Created the earth and owns a storm, who could really freak me out with his power, who is willing and able to heal me and raise my soul from the dead, is the same Christ I can see every day when I read His Word. The Holy Spirit stirred my faith, awe, reverence and fear in this Christ. Then He slammed me with the truth that God is in His Word, eager to reveal himself to me more and more, and make me tremble at who He is.  And that excites me to dig into God’s word with more faith and expectation.

Like the disciples in the boat freaking out because of the storm in Luke 8, I don’t fix my problems (i.e. deadly storm) by looking at my circumstances or my sin. Christ, Lord of Creation must be my focus. I must look to HIM! And since “Jesus also suffered once, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring us to God,” (1 Peter 3:18) I know that he will also continue to give us more of Himself in His Word.

So that’s where I want to stay, beholding the crazy-powerful, amazing Christ in His Word.

A few of you have asked for the list of books we sold at the conference. The upside of selling out books is that a lot of good books are in a lot of people’s hands. The downside is that if you didn’t get one you may not remember the name of “that one book you meant to buy at the conference” no matter how many times you try (here’s a hint: it probably involves “God” “Cross” or “Christian”).

I’ve linked to the Amazon page for each book but feel free to order them through your favorite bookstore or straight from the publisher.

Bridges, Jerry The Bookends of the Christian Life

Bridges, Jerry The Great Exchange

Carson, D.A. A Call to Spiritual Reformation

Carson, D.A. How Long, O Lord

Carson, D.A. The Cross and Christian Ministry

Clowney, Edmund The Unfolding Mystery

Dever, Mark (editor) In My Place Condemned He Stood

DeYoung, Kevin Just Do Something

DeYoung, Kevin Why We’re Not Emergent

Ferguson, Sinclair Children of the Living God

Ferguson, Sinclair The Christian Life: A Doctrinal Introduction

Ferguson, Sinclair The Sermon on the Mount

Ferguson, Sinclair In Christ Alone

Harris, Josh Boy Meets Girl

Harris, Josh Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is)

Harris, Josh Stop Dating the Church

Harvey, Dave When Sinners Say I Do

Kauflin, Bob Worship Matters

Mahaney, C.J. (editor) Worldliness: Resisting The Seduction of a Fallen World

Mahaney, C.J. Humility

Mahaney, C.J. The Cross-Centered Life

McCulley, Carolyn Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?

McCulley, Carolyn Radical Womanhood

Ovey, Mike and Steve Jeffrey (editors) Pierced For Our Transgressions

Piper, John Fifty Reasons Jesus Came to Die

Piper, John Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ

Piper, John What Jesus Demands of the World

Sproul, R.C. The Glory of Christ

Stott, John The Cross of Christ

I also got the chance to share my own testimony at Next. Here it is:

Ricky Alcantar Testimony from Sovereign Grace Ministries on Vimeo.

Ricky Alcantar
Cross of Grace Church, El Paso TX

My name is Ricky Alcantar and this is the story of how Jesus Christ changed my life. By God’s grace, I have a boring testimony.

A few years ago I was sharing my testimony with some other guys from my church and it seemed like everyone but me had been saved in a radical and amazing way. I prefaced my testimony by saying, “Well, I don’t really have an amazing testimony…not anything like some of the other testimonies here.” One of my friends stopped me right there. He said, “Anytime someone goes from death to life it’s amazing.”

For the first ten years of my life I grew up surrounded in the gospel. I read about it in storybooks involving raccoons and other forest animals. I heard about it in audio tapes involving prodigal ants. I saw it in largely frightening animated adaptions of Pilgrim’s Progress. I probably heard it sung by a huge singing and dancing blue songbook. But despite the best efforts of my parents, my heart was hard. I held on to everything I was supposed to “do” for God and never understood what God had done for me. 

I learned quickly how to follow the rules at home. I committed a few blatant sins but I wasn’t the rebellious child…I was the one who did what my parents told me to and looked down on other kids. I enjoyed Sunday school, Bible club, and the rest mostly because I could give the right answers better than the other kids.

In Sunday School I was known by my bitter classmates as, “The Bible Guy.” When our class would have contests trying to find Bible verses I won so much my teachers started banning me from participating. But I didn’t love Jesus, I loved being the best in class. I loved church for the attention it brought me and because I could just follow the rules.

So as a kid I knew a lot of scriptures, I knew a lot of the right things to say, but all that head knowledge didn’t translate into a love for Jesus. Phrases like “Jesus died for my sins” were nothing but phrases to memorize, recite, and get commended for. I was the littlest Pharisee, making a show of scripture memory dominance without the scriptures ever penetrating my heart. I was proud and selfish. But more than that I was dead in my sins. And even then there were seeds in my heart that, if I they’d come to fruition later in life would have resulted in sins that I shudder to think about.

Until one Sunday, a Sunday like any other Sunday, I was sitting in class at a bright red table staring up at felt boards and sheep. For the hundredth or thousandth or millionth time my teacher was explaining the gospel. I tuned out–I already knew this answer. But that day something in my heart changed. I listened carefully. Then the teacher said the five words I knew so well: “Jesus died for your sins.” And the words cut to my heart like a knife.

I didn’t understand everything fully but I understood that they meant that Jesus was on the cross because of my sin. They meant that the wrong things I did had to be really punished…but Jesus said he would take the punishment for me. They meant that I was the Pilgrim with the burden on my back that I could leave at the cross.

I don’t remember anything else the teacher said. But I remember that when she told people the class to pray along if they wanted to be forgiven of their sins, I prayed. This time not to put on a show, but because I wanted to talk to God, my father, my savior.

Since then I’ve been far from perfect–I’ve fought legalism and moralism, I’ve fought self-centeredness and lust–but my struggles are different because of the gospel. When I have run toward sin Jesus has faithfully stopped me by opening my eyes to the see the cross again. And when I’ve run toward Jesus and Jesus has met me powerfully it has been most often when I see once again the beauty of the words, “Jesus died for my sins.”

I didn’t break down cry in the classroom that day but I’ve cried many times since then. I didn’t see the dramatic change the day or week or month after that day, but I’ve seen dramatic change in my life since then. Many of my friends have seen God’s love I their lives as God has pulled them from addictions or violent anger or sexual immorality. But in no less amazing a way I’ve seen God’s love in that he kept me from all those things. Every year God has drawn me closer to the cross and I see what he did for me that day in the classroom as even more amazing. Every year my God has become bigger and bigger. Now the thought that I’ve gone from death to life is amazing, because a boring testimony is never boring to the one who’s been saved.

Here’s Jonathon’s story as told at Next this year.

Jonathan Sawyer Testimony from Sovereign Grace Ministries on Vimeo.

Jonathon
Grace Church, Frisco TX

My name is Jonathon Sawyer and this is my story of how Jesus Christ changed my life.

My parents had a very difficult divorce when I was four years old.  I was raised mostly by my mother and step-father. My mother considered herself a spiritual seeker, and my stepfather considered himself an atheist. Mom dabbled in many different forms of religion and alternative spirituality. As a child, I was exposed to all of these.

They ranged from eastern meditation to the New Age, and from modern Judaism to my step-father’s passionate atheism. I recall my step-father, a man whom I love and who invested so much into me, telling me that he stopped going to church at age nineteen because he felt he was wasting his time.

As I meditated upon my conversion to Christ, I was reminded of the Parable of the Sower in Matthew 13:3-9:

“A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty.”

In the midst of the many different religions and spiritualities I was exposed to in my childhood, I visited a church occasionally with my birth dad and his wife which talked about Jesus, who lived a perfect life, died on the cross for our sins, and was then raised from the dead. I remember being affected by this message, and praying with my dad and his wife to have Jesus forgive me of my sins.

The parable that I just read in Matthew speaks of birds coming to devour this message. I experienced this. My father moved away from the city I was living in, and I was not exposed to a Christian church for several years. I grew up in New Mexico, and when I was in elementary school, I became friends with two different members of the Mormon Church. At ten years old, I was given a Book of Mormon, and when I was fifteen years old, I officially converted to the Mormon Church.

During the few years I spent involved in this organization, various family members who were Christians would attempt to share with me that being a good person could never get me into Heaven. They would explain that only Jesus was the way to Heaven. But, as the parable says, the soil of my heart was rocky. What I heard as a child about Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection were the seeds that fell upon my soul. I would sense that the words of these Christians were true and would feel the urgency to leave the Mormon Church and turn to Jesus, but similar to the grains being scorched in the parable, this momentary clarity would not last. I would immediately fall away, and cling with fierce determination to being a good person. I thought that the better I acted, the more God would approve of me. The problem is that I could never measure up, though I was unwilling to admit it.  In fact, I gave people an appearance that I had it all together. I remember one friend saying, “Jon, you are so righteous.” I was glad that my friend thought I was so good, but I knew the sin that was in my heart.

I eventually came across a book that put serious doubts in my mind about my involvement in the Mormon Church. What I discovered made me very anxious and depressed. Could it be that everything I believed about this organization and about reaching God through being a really good person was a lie? At that time, my dad and his wife, who I had prayed with as a young boy, were living back in the same city as me.
While I was involved in the Mormon Church, we did not have much of a relationship. Over dinner, I explained to he and his wife the things I was discovering about the Mormon Church, and told them that I was thinking of leaving. Jesus came up during our conversation. We talked about him dying on the cross for our sins, and I found myself being drawn to Jesus. After dinner, I requested that they pray for me. While they were praying, my heart began to overflow with a desire to repent of the deep and very dark sins of my heart. I could no longer resist praying, and with tears of repentance, felt all of my burdens lifting as I experienced the forgiveness of sin.

After that night, I made the decision to leave the Mormon Church, though it turned into a very long and difficult process. Desiring to learn more about Jesus, I enrolled in a small, unaccredited Bible College. While there, I was incorrectly taught that because I was a Christian, I was no longer a sinner.  Therefore, I tried with all my energy to be a good and “strong” Christian. I was frustrated by failure, condemnation, and depression time and time again. I was struggling with sin, but because I thought I could no longer sin without losing my salvation, I was very confused. I grew bitter and angry. I thought that I had given everything in my life to God, and could not understand why I continued to struggle with sin. A few years later, the church and school that I was a part of dramatically fell apart due to immorality in leadership. I found myself feeling lost, hopeless, and without direction. I had no desire to be involved in a church.

The next four years were very, very difficult. I began living an immoral lifestyle, drinking alone every night, and was constantly depressed and discouraged. I came to the point of researching various methods of suicide, and wrote a “good-bye” letter to my family. It is only by God’s mercy that I am alive today. My battle with sin was intense and severe, but I somehow maintained my job, and was rising quickly in my field. The seeds of the gospel had taken root, but were choked by the thorns of my own pride, the cares of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches. I began reading books on atheism and declared myself an agnostic and skeptic, though I had many restless and agonizing nights as I thought about Jesus.

During this time, a young man who is here today, began working for me.

I knew he was a Christian, and that his family had moved to the area to plant a church. I watched his humble example of Christian service in the work place for almost a year. I eventually got to know this young man’s parents. They knew nothing about my background, but in an impromptu letter to me filled with scripture about Jesus, the following was written:

“I am praying that God’s reward in your life will be lavish (in keeping with His amazing love for you) and obvious to you in the days to come.”

I read that letter when I was at the height of arrogance and the depth of discouragement.  I distinctly remember sitting on the edge of my bed and weeping when I read that line. I am filled with emotion even right now as I consider the goodness of God. The prayers offered in that letter have been answered.

On Easter Sunday a few months later, I was invited to church. I wrestled intensely with whether or not to go, but I went. It was there that I was introduced to the biblical teaching of God’s sovereignty; His absolute rule and reign over all things, including the salvation of my sinning soul. Whereas previously I had had been taught and firmly believed that after salvation I possessed an ability to determine my destiny, I now began to see with fresh vision that “the heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)  Eight years after I had left the Mormon Church and found myself arrested at the cross of Jesus Christ, I was once again humbled before the Lord with trembling and rejoicing tears.

A few months later, I experienced the worst physical pain I had ever encountered in my life. I was in a kitchen fire, and both of my hands were severely damaged with third degree burns. I had no use of my hands during that time. I could not work nor properly feed myself. It was a striking picture of the state of my soul. Physically, I was burned and could do nothing. Spiritually, I was more than burned. I was dead. Only through the death and resurrection power of the living Christ could my soul be revived. Only in Jesus could my soul be sustained.

Since that Easter Sunday, I have seen and witnessed the power of Christ’s resurrection in many ways. During a conference two years ago, the Lord convicted me of anger in my heart toward my father. I asked for his forgiveness, and that began the mending of our severely strained relationship. There have been numerous occasions where God has put members of the Mormon Church in my path to share the hope that I have in Jesus. On an evangelistic street outreach with our church recently, my partner in evangelism and I initiated a conversation with a person who we discovered to be a Mormon. We spent an hour talking with him and sharing the gospel. Since that Easter Sunday, I have been joyfully surprised by new desires to lay aside the sins that held me captive for so long, and an increased passion to find my satisfaction in Jesus through the words of scripture. Since that Easter Sunday, my mother, who is not a Christian and was once very hostile toward the gospel, has attended church with me, and we have had many conversations about Jesus. I was once consumed by loneliness and depression, finding solace in alcohol and immorality. Today, my arms are lifted by brothers and sisters who encourage me when I feel hopeless, pointing me to the great shepherd of my soul, Jesus Christ.

I am a sinner saved by Jesus’ death on the cross as a substitute for my sins. Through the power of his resurrection, my heart is at rest in the good soil of our Father in Heaven’s passionate love and unyielding grace. I know that until the day I die and see Jesus face to face, I will continue to struggle. In those times, when Satan tempts me to despair and tells me of the guilt within, upward I look and see Jesus there, who made an end of all my sin.

He is the sinless Savior. He is eternal. He has no beginning and he has no end.  He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He is the Sovereign King who did not come to us in the flesh as a conquering military victor, but as a suffering servant, paying for our sins on Calvary’s cross, and rising on the third day, defeating the power of sin and death.

“My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly trust in Jesus’ name.”

We wanted to share the testimonies given at Next during the general sessions in written and video form. Here’s Zac’s story.

Zack Russell Testimony from Sovereign Grace Ministries on Vimeo.

Zac
KingsWay Community Church, Richmond

My name is Zac Russell and this is my story of how Jesus Christ changed my life.

I figure I will just start from the beginning of my life with this testimony of how God has worked in my life. Right away from birth the doctors and my parents could tell I was gonna be a tough one to deal with. At birth I came out purple because I was pretty much refusing to breathe… but after my first spanking I shortly gave into my parents and the doctors. Right away my parents could tell that I wasn’t going to be easy…

I grew up in KingsWay Community Church in Richmond, Virginia and my parents led our family to the truth of God’s Word. Around age twelve I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and was baptized shortly thereafter. I believe that I was converted at this time but during my teenage years I would struggle to follow the Lord and my parents instruction.

During high school I was always grounded and in trouble. I think there were only four months of entire high school when I was not grounded. I regularly was in trouble for relationships with girls behind my parents backs, sneaking out to go partying, and lots of disrespect to my parents and to my teachers. My parents were forced to continually correct me for my actions. My rebellion cost me my senior season of baseball and because I started a fight during my senior year of basketball I was suspended for half of that season as well. Instead of heeding the warnings of my friends, parents, coaches and adults in the church I decided at the end of high school that instead of changing my ways and working things out with my parents I decided moving out was a better option.

I moved to Virginia Beach and was searching for answers and fulfillment. Again I found myself not investing in church and God… instead I focused on being a quasi rock star and spending way too much time in bad relationships and partying. After a while I ran out of money and I was being slowly alienated from all the people who really cared about me. Eventually everything I had was stripped away and I was forced to move back to Richmond… crawling back to my parents for help. They graciously took me back until I could find another place to live.

After getting my old job back and a steady paycheck for a few weeks I got my own apartment and was back on my feet again. I flirted with coming back to church but I never really committed to coming back. After awhile I grew bored with my life and decided that moving out to Arkansas to play baseball was a good option….................... So I did. I tried to escape the Lords inevitable plan for my life by moving to Arkansas. I’m really really really dumb and it only took me a few weeks out in Arkansas to figure that one out. Again eventually everything I had was stripped away and I was forced to move back to Richmond… crawling back to my parents for help. BUT the difference this time was that the Lord took hold of my heart and showed me compassion… and I could really feel Him calling me back to Richmond. After my Christmas break I drove back to Arkansas..packed up my things and drove straight back to Richmond. I was so excited to be coming home… I couldn’t even sleep or take a break from driving. All in all I drove over 2,000 miles and was awake for 38 hours straight before God finally got me home. The last four hours of the trip I did nothing but ball my eyes out because I realized I was getting a third chance at being where God had called me to.

God used events like a mens’ retreat and my care group to help me to not let this third chance go to waste… and to have faith to step up to my goal of membership at my church.

In closing the last two things I wanna say are the two practical things about God that have really helped me come back into His family. The first is the story of John the Baptist. While I was in Arkansas I studied his life… and it really helped me feel like God had a place in His plan for “wild” people. It really helped me feel like Christianity is not just a religion for people who dress like it’s Easter Sunday everyday of the week. That God can use ordinary dudes to accomplish big things.

And the last thing is a quote from my favorite worship song. While I was driving home from Arkansas this is the song that triggered all the emotion and crying and all that… because for the first time in a long time… it felt real to me. And if you really want to sum up my testimony… I think this is the perfect way.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, it is well, with my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

As we prepared to post the transcripts of several testimonies from Next we realized that it just wasn’t the same reading the testimonies. There was something special watching someone stand and share all God had done in their lives. We’re working on posting all these testimonies in video form, but in the meantime we’ll post them here on the blog.

Here’s David Stein’s testimony. If you weren’t at the conference you really need to hit “play” on the video. His testimony is hilarious and heartbreaking and most of all, God-glorifying.

David Stein Testimony from Sovereign Grace Ministries on Vimeo.

If you can’t watch the video here’s the transcript of his testimony:

My name is David Stein. This is the story of how Jesus Christ changed my life. I grew up in a slightly different home than D.A. Carson. The only similarity is that I too was bathed. Imagine growing up in a home where God was never mentioned. Not once. Well a few times but it was not in a glorifying way.

I was born and raised Jewish. But in our home Judaism was simply history and tradition. And not unlike American’s would celebrate the 4th of July, in our house we celebrated Jewish holidays in history and tradition like Hashanah, Yom Kapor, Passover, and Hanukkah – the grand slam of Jewish holidays. And the message was always the same… “Everybody hates us. Don’t forget everybody hates us. Enjoy your dinner.”

I grew up in a small town in Pennsylvania. Trap, Pennsylvania. And this is not the start of a bad joke. There were only three Jewish families in the town of Trap, my dad was the dentist, my cousin was the doctor, and there was also a Jewish family, he was the podiatrist. I had the pleasure of getting beaten up on the school bus for being Jewish. At least I think that was the reason, perhaps it was because I was in the band.

I was bar mitzvah-ed at the age of 13 and pretty much called it a day as for practicing any type of Judaism, but we remained Jewish in history and tradition.
Two years before that, at the age of 11, I found my first dirty magazine under my brothers bed which led to a life of long addiction to pornography and sexual sin. I didn’t get high until college. I got high for the first time and I liked it, which led to flunking out of college shortly thereafter, which is a proud moment in the life of a parent I’m sure. I stumbled my way into some semblance of a career; had some minor successes and great failures as an Entrepreneur.

But no greater failure than my marriage. I was married in 1993 and began to drink in 1993… there was no correlation. And 10 years later at the age of 42 my marriage ended. There I was on the floor of a half empty closet in February of 2004 in Burbank, CA in a fetal position, balling my eyes out. I’m 42… an alcoholic, pot smoking, porn addict. And I had I knew two choices: self destruction, which I knew I was good at, and what I called at the time (which I did not have) strength, will, and determination. And that moment on that floor someone picked me up. Someone pulled me up off that floor. Not long after, things started to turn around. My health got better. From that day on that floor, complete deliverance from alcohol and drugs. Gone. Gone.

The lust thing took a little while longer. I had to listen to a couple of Josh Harris messages to get that one. Ran for the first time: ran a marathon… once… I’m not crazy. Within four months I applied for a job I never would have applied for because of my fear of failure in that job. And I got it. And that was my dream job and that turned into what I thought was another dream job and things were turning around and almost good.

And this went on for a period of almost 2 years from that night on the floor. And I had the thought in September of 2006 – and I’ve never had this thought before – I wonder if God has anything to do with this. And I didn’t know what to do. So I went to the only place that I figured I’d find God and that would be… a Synagogue.

And I went to a Synagogue on September 8th 2006 and was devastated. There was nothing there. When I was 13 and bar mitzvah-ed I didn’t understand one word and when I was 45 and sitting in that Synagogue, I didn’t understand one word. And I left there in tears, figuring I was going to find God there that night and he was going to greet me at the door, and say “Welcome, I’ve been waiting for ya” …and nothing.

I had done some self help after that night on the floor. Weekend seminar, so I pretty much had it all going on. I knew everything. Had seen a therapist she had since moved 2,000 miles away but I called her to tell her this story that I went to the Synagogue and nothing happened. We set up a very unorthodox phone session. I was in my living room in Glendale, California and she was in her office in Atlanta. And I told her the story and she said the most amazing sentence, she said, “That’s okay David, you just didn’t find him there.” I didn’t know what she meant. I just didn’t know you could look somewhere else. What is this find thing? And she took off her therapy hat and she put on her Christian hat. I did not know she was a Christian. And from 2000 miles away she shared the gospel with me.
And she told me who God was. And what he did for me. And how much he loved me. And right then and there I knew desperately that I needed a Savoir and fell to my knees and I accepted Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. And that was September 26, 2006 and the Lord was so kind, he was so kind. Immediately he got me into excellent teaching and sound doctrine. Almost immediately I got an invitation to go to some church in southern California to hear some guy “speak”… that was the word I used. It was a Thursday night and I was like, okay, whatever. And that some guy’s church was John MacArthur’s… he can bring it! And that some guy “speaking” was John Piper, but John MacArthur came out and said, I’m sorry John Piper can’t be here today, his father passed away. We have someone to fill in for him. And this guy came out and said “no one can replace John Piper” and he preached on something that I’d never heard. I didn’t know what an expository message was, I had never seen one and never heard one, this was my first one and he preached on humility. Thank you.

I’m not the brightest guy in the room, after seeing C.J. preach that night I went to the Sovereign Grace website, began downloading messages by C.J., Josh, many others. Took me 3 months to figure out there was a button at the top of the website that says “local churches”. And there was a local church 5 minutes away from me… and on June 17th 2007 I walked into Sovereign Grace in Pasadena, CA. I knew as soon as I walked through that door I was home and a year later I had an opportunity to move for what I thought was a job and I moved to Georgia. And I was afraid, silly me… he would take care of me. And 3 days after I got to Georgia, I walked into Sovereign Grace in Woodstock, Georgia. And I knew I was home.

It was not a job. God was taking me there to show the local church. And it turns out the local church does live in care group, and local church does live in serving, and local church does live in reaching out in the community, to the lost. And I praise God for unveiling each day more and more of who he is and never giving up on me and for knowing all this long before I was born. And there’s actual documentation, sort of, on that. A 1978 report card, 10th grade high school. Now up until that day in September 2006 I was quite certain I had never had the gospel shared with me, never heard the gospel, never cracked a bible, never heard one word about Jesus Christ. I went to an Episcopalian boarding school in Pottstown, PA… 3 Jews… we had to take a theology class in 10th grade from the very reverent Dr. Regal. That was his actual name and once again I was not a very good student so he wrote this comment “I’m sorry to say…” now this is 31 years ago, “I’m sorry to say David has no grasp of the biblical introduction to Judaism, but has a mastery of John’s gospel”.  Long before he grabs us and turns us away from hell, he’s working on us.

So I praise him for never giving up on me, for pulling me up off that floor - I know now it was him.

This year the musicians in Na Band led worship in three sessions at Next. Learn more about the Na Band in just six questions.

Ricky Alcantar: Who are you guys?

Devon Kauflin: We are a group of Christians who go to Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, MD who happen to play music together. Our musical backgrounds all have one common theme: we’ve learned music through serving on a regular basis in many different contexts at our local church, such as Sunday mornings, youth meetings, twenty-something meetings, children’s ministry, small groups, musicals, and outreach.

What has been a previous highlight for you all at Next?

As a group we have been so blessed through this conference; everything from the family groups to the main session messages. One highlight for us was hearing Josh Harris preach on Humble Orthodoxy in 2006 and giving us a compelling vision for commitment to sound doctrine.

What was one highlight this year at Next?

We loved hearing Dr. Ferguson preach on Tuesday morning. We were able to marvel at God’s patience (“If the Lord Jesus Christ returned 18 months ago some of you would be in hell… It’s remarkable how the more we use the world wide web the more impatient we become, yet the Father of time is ever more patient with His return”) and excitedly anticipate His return.

Describe your band’s sound in four words.

We sound like Glad

Where do you normally play?

We have only ever played in different contexts at our local church and a handful of Sovereign Grace conferences. It’s really all about our community in the local church. That’s why we exist as a band, to serve the body of believers God’s placed us in and to magnify his name here. It is awesome that God uses how we serve here locally to minister to people beyond our geographic location, but that’s not our purpose.

Where can people hear more of your music?

Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, MD is your best bet. Or you can wait for the live album from this year at Next that’s coming out soon. Oh, and we did a studio album last year called “Looked Upon” that you can listen to here.

Twenty-three years as a Christian and this is the first time I remember ever having heard this phrase: the de-Godding of God. It still gives me chills to think about it.

The phrase came from Mr. Carson’s message on Sunday morning. And, at this point in his message, he was speaking about how the Word confronts and divides us. He dissected this by saying, “God’s love is not awesome because the world is so big, but because the world [the object of his love] is so bad…The world did not recognize him. That is unfathomably bad. The world that he had made didn’t even recognize him…receive him…The most heinous thing that we do is not rape. The most heinous thing that we human beings do is not genocide. The most heinous thing that we do, we humans, is not lying. The most heinous thing that we do…is ignore our maker. It’s the sin that you always commit when you commit any other sin….idolatry. It is the de-Godding of God.”

Yep. See what I mean?! How many times a day do I ignore my maker? How often do I choose my own preferences and will, my comfort and pleasure instead of obedience to Christ? How often do I stand at the foot of Mt. Sinai (like the Israelites) getting distracted with my wants and desires and choose to make an idol rather than wait for the glory of God? A lot. Pretty much more than I want to admit. I make an idol of sleep and skip my time with the Lord. I make an idol of my money and spend it the way I want. I make an idol of food and eat what I want rather than seeking to honor God with what I eat. I make an idol of relationships instead of seeing them as totally undeserved blessings from him. I make idols all day long. I set them up on their own pillars. I name them, justify their existence and worship them. I de-God God.

Oh but this message brings such HOPE! I am not left to figure out where to go from here! Jesus Christ took on flesh – God and human being at the same time – to save this wretched sinner. Every time I look to the cross, I see the sacrifice he made. I see the love he has for this bad world, the world that he came to die for. And there is grace to change, through this finished work on the cross!

Through the kindness of the Holy Spirit’s conviction, I have since become aware of areas of my life (patterns of sin such as impatience and laziness) that I have chosen to make idols of by de-Godding God. And by his grace, I am changing! I am choosing not to make an idol of self, and in so doing ignore God, but to see him as the preeminent Christ who came to earth, lived a sinless life, died on the cross, rose again, and ascended to the throne where he is seated at the Father’s right hand!! This is my Maker.

I still remember stepping onto the plane after this year’s Next conference. I’d just spent four days beholding Jesus Christ. He was bigger in my eyes than he’d ever been. I was more in awe of him. I longed for him more.

But just two weeks later things can feel so different. A busy schedule makes spending time with Jesus hard to do. My own patterns of sin–which I sort of assumed had been completely done away with at the conference–return and soon I’m apologizing to my wife for getting angry. I begin to feel other things push Jesus away from being preeminent in my life.

But then I remember a line from the Next 09 brochure: “Jesus hasn’t changed. And he invites us to meet him again.”

Jesus hasn’t changed. He is still more amazing and awesome and beautiful and wonderfully terrifying than I can imagine. And he is still worthy of being completely preeminent in every area of my life. In his incarnation, life, death, resurrection, and return I find hope and help for everyday life.

This brings us to our summer issue of the webzine. In our summer issue we’re taking the whole issue to help you apply Next 2009. The content is pretty simple:

_Get application questions
_See a recommended reading list for post-conference reading
_Read all the notes from the messages

If you came to the conference our prayer is that these materials help you meet Jesus again. And if you couldn’t come to the conference we hope the message notes are a quick way to get some of the highlights from this year’s conference.

And one other note: This webzine will be our last until the fall. We’re already making plans for Next year and we can’t wait to share them with you.

ZELOS led us in worship this year at Next. Learn more about the band in just six questions.

Ricky: Who are you guys? What’s your musical background like?

Judah: ZELOS is a band out of the suburbs of Washington, D.C. The band’s unique, melodic-rock sound is made up by lead vocalist and guitarist Judah Groveman, bass player Abe Groveman, along side lead guitarist Ben Neumann and drummer PJ Mulsteff. The Groveman brothers are classically trained in cello and violin from the Levine School of Music in Georgetown and the University of Maryland, and Ben and PJ both come from a background of various rock, hip-hop, rockabilly, polka, jazz, and big band swing. Not really, mostly just rock bands.

What was one of your previous highlights at Next? (i.e. New Attitude)

We’ve had the opportunity to be involved on the music end of the conference in different ways over the years because of our involvement at our home church, Covenant Life.  It’s always an exciting privilege to use music to help fuel a passion for truth in the Next generation (no pun intended).

What was one highlight for you at this year’s Next conference?

We liked how the content was so strategically and tightly centered on Jesus  It was evident that all the speakers had carefully studied His life and had been personally impacted. The content of the messages gave a small glimpse into the power and love of the Savior and we left with a greater anticipation for His return. It was also a blast participating in leading the music for a live recording and humbling to consider how God will use it to help people take the message of the conference home.

Can you describe your band’s sound in four words?

Not Rap or Country

Where do you guys play? (at church? in clubs? christian events?) How has your faith informed you when you play in secular environments?

We play primarily at different bars/clubs in the D.C. area, as well as different Christian events from time to time. Playing in secular environments gives us a chance to be in the world but not of the world. The world is searching for a hope and love that isn’t fleeting or artificial, and engaging with it through music reminds us of the hope of Christ. In almost any context, creative excellence builds a bridge to your audience and we’ve seen how our music has provided opportunities to impact those who don’t know Him.

Where can people learn more about you guys or listen to some music?

You can check us out online at www.zelosmusic.com.