NEXT

Over the next couple of days, I will be posting the testimonies that were shared during the 2010 conference. We are so grateful to these individuals for sharing at the conference and allowing us to post their testimonies on the blog. We hope you are encouraged. Enjoy!

Heather Evans Testimony from Sovereign Grace Ministries on Vimeo.

Download mp3 of Heather’s testimony HERE.

I grew up in a Christian home where my parents did everything they could to ensure that I had a deep love for Christ. Yet, throughout my childhood, church was merely an excuse to see my friends and an escape from realities like being bullied at school and molested by a neighbor. During my teen years, church became just another part of life where I went through the motions.

When I was 13 there were some serious moral failings in the leadership of the church we attended. I began to see the church as a cult, and grew bitter. But I still needed the approval of my friends and family, so I buried my feelings and continued to “do” church.

Looking back, I can see that I was consumed by a sinful desire for love and approval from others. I never took time to evaluate the state of my heart, but instead focused on other people’s view of me. In my mind I was a Christian, but I was merely following the crowd. I knew what to say to impress people and never dared to ask any questions about God in fear that people would look down on me.

During and after my senior year in high school, there were more troubling issues in the leadership of our church, and I gave up attending church altogether.

I found friends who introduced me to the ways of the world in a big way. During this time I broke my back, developed an eating disorder, had two friends die in tragic accidents, and walked my best friend though the trials of having cancer. Every time I was tested, the true state of my heart was revealed. Not once did I look to God or even believe that he could help me. I looked ok on the outside, but on the inside everything was crashing down. I was no longer finding satisfaction in faking my way though life.

By age 19, I realized that I had been lying to myself and to everyone else about who I was. I became aware that I was not really a Christian. I stopped seeking the approval of my Christian friends. I stopped caring about what people in the church thought. I got a job serving and bartending, and soon fell in love with the party life. I feared the rejection of my new friends and was afraid to say no to what they were involved in.

Eventually, I became willing to do almost anything, and as a result, I cannot remember significant portions of this period. But in it all, God was still working. God started putting people in my life to turn me back to him. A family friend got in touch and asked me to go with their daughter to the NEXT conference. I was hesitant to say yes, but feeling the need for a little vacation and a few days to sober up, I agreed to go.

The months leading up to the conference were an all time low. Even my party friends were concerned about how much I was willing to compromise. One of my “normal nights out” turned ugly when I was slipped some drugs and dragged outside to a back alley. That night is a complete blank to me except for one moment where I clearly know God intervened. While my assailant tried to get me into a cab, I screamed out to some nearby security guards who came to my rescue and got me safely back to my friends.

Two weeks later I found myself at the NEXT conference, completely broken. Julie Rawlings came up to me and asked if she could “borrow” me. She told me that she had met me a few years before and had been praying for me. She spoke God’s Word to me and explained that I needed a Savior. After lots of tears and lots of words that I believe were straight from God, I repented and believed Jesus for my salvation.

When I returned to Vancouver, God brought another crisis to finally break through my patterns of sin. After a night that ended with me being brought to a man’s house against my will and sexually assaulted, I gave up the party life for good. God had to teach me that it isn’t ok to put yourself in situations where you are surrounded by temptation and sin. Even if you are not actively participating in the sinful activity, you are saying to others that this is the lifestyle you prefer. God took that awful situation and used it to grow me and remind me how desperate I am for a Savior.

My life in Christ is completely new; everything has changed. I am no longer bitter towards the church, and I now see my need to completely rely on Jesus for everything. When temptation comes I have a great support system through God’s Word, Christian friends, my church, and my pastor. God is working in my heart to reveal the extreme harm that fearing men more than God can cause and how it blinds us from seeing the true state of our hearts. When I look at Jesus’ work on the cross, and what he has saved me from, I am in complete awe of his love for me.