NEXT

… Not exactly the words of Paul Revere, but I think I saw Paul Medler riding the streets of Gaithersburg on his trusty horse “British Beauty” shouting “2 if by DVD, 1 if by YouTube.”

So, we know it is coming, but what to do when it arrives?  Here is a list of some helpful, and less so, suggestions. (Disclaimer: This author and the NEXT conglomerate is not responsible for any legal charges levied against those who take these suggestions, especially the foolish ones!)

The Usual Suspects
Play it at church-related contexts - Show it during your announcement time, put it on the church website, play it in the lobby, show the toddlers in the nursery (it beats Veggie Tales!), play it at your singles meetings… the possibilities are numerous

Post it - Facebook it, Blog it, Twitter it, hack into NBC’s website and replace all Olympic videos with the NEXT Promo (this is the first of many foolish, and potentially illegal suggestions that should be ignored). 

The UnUsual Suspects
Play it at work - Replace your screen saver with the NEXT Promo so your work PC continuously loops the promo… this is sure to interest your coworkers

Public TV - Ask your local public TV channel to play the promo.  I might be making this up, but there is a good chance that the FCC has regulations that require airtime to be made available for some things… I am not really clear on any of this… maybe you should read the FCC Website and find out for yourself.  Alternatively, watch the movie UHF with Weird Al Yankovich… that might give you other ideas.

Mobile Promos - Place a TV screen on your head and walk around, or if you have a big dog, strap a TV to its back and walk it around, or put a 52” Flat Screen on top of your car and drive around… play the DVD… watch the registrations roll in!

iPhone, Droids, portable DVD Players and more - Play it through your iPhone, Droid or other internet capable phone, or a portable DVD player in a public place.  Coffee shops and gyms are a good start, but libraries and doctor offices might allow others to hear the SWEET Promo more effectively. 

Movie Theaters - If you are making a trip to the local cinema, simply bring a laptop and projector.  Also, bring a large piece of black cardboard and a noise cancelling device.  Use the cardboard to block the regularly scheduled coming attractions, use the noise cancelling device to block the sound from the regularly scheduled coming attraction then, discreetly project the NEXT Promo on the screen using your projector and laptop combo.  The result will be droves of individuals leaving the theater, making their way to the nearest computer (other than your laptop) and registering for NEXT.

Buy a Commercial Spot - Get 100000 of your closest friends to chip in a few dollars and buy a commercial.  Since the Super Bowl is over, it is probably best to buy time during the Olympics or American Idol… maybe to save money you could just audition for American Idol by reenacting the NEXT Promo

What’s Next for the NEXT Promo
When all is said and done, what should you do with the DVD that contains the 2010 NEXT Promo.  Here are a few bad suggestions:
- Frisbee
- Coaster
- Pizza Cutter
- Ornament for a Christmas Tree or Rearview Mirror
- One Big Earring, or an Elephant Nose Ring
- Use it to focus the sun and burn insects
- Use it as a mirror to see if you have spinach in your teeth
- Collect 8 and use them as mod plates
- Make a house of mirrors for gerbils
- Ebay it for 1 Million dollars and give the money to NEXT for scholarships

Those are all the “wonderful” ideas I could come up with… add your thoughts in the comments section!

Ed